June 09th 2017 Week 23rd Friday

The supreme happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved.

生活中最大的幸福就是，坚信有人爱着我们。

One of my godness, a beautiful girl, now a wife and mother, once wrote some words as following in her signature of WeChat:

What is happiness? They say one needs three things to be truly happy in this world: someone to love, something to do, and something to hope for.

Quite right, and I think this conclusion is all very much to the point.

Actually, though I always feel I am luckless and living a miserable life, if measured in this perspective, maybe I live a not so worst life, because there are some who love me, like my family members, there are things I can do, uh, sometimes the outcomes are not very good and sometimes I feel exhausted with them, and there are some beautiful dreams I expect that one day I can make them true.

Maybe I shoudn't lose hope in life, maybe I can see my days coming if I just have one more trying.

God knows. Man propose, god dispose, let's just do our own job better.

Life wouldn't be worth living if I worried over the future as well as the present.

如果我既担忧未来又担忧现在，那么这样的生活不值得我去过。

From W.Somerset Maugham.

So what kind of life is worth living?

With a well-paid job that is just what you are loving to do, with a happy family that every member of it loves and helps each other, or you are no more worrying about whether there is enough money to support your lifestyle?

Honestly, I really have not had a clear idea about the question.

When seeing the happy scenes of others, like parents playing with their children, sons and daughters taking good care of their old parents, winners being promoted as teamleaders, I might have an obscure outline of what a worth-living life would be, but I can't get to the bottom of it.

Once I think about the details of a happy life, I always fall into inextricable feelings of depression, frustration, as well as self-accusation.

The absurd experience of tens of years ago seemingly had an unceasing effect on my life, whatever I have done to make up the results of failure seems in vain.

Look, that is me, that is my life. If I can't get rid of such negative thoughts, maybe I will never stand up again.

Maybe my expectation of my life is too high, if I can't achieve the goals I ever set, I will continue to live in unceasing guilt.

Maybe there is no need to pursue to be excellent, it would be better to accept the cruel truth that I am just an ordinary people, sometimes even inferior to many others.