关于“wining attitude”

同学转的诺基亚招聘启事上看到这样一则要求：“a real team player with wining attitude”。我的反应先是好奇，后是惊讶！好奇是好奇怎么个wining attitude到底是什么，所以我开始了搜索的历程。当然，按照惯例，一千个观众就有一千个哈姆雷特，大家似乎都有着各自的理解。但是，我的目光最后落在了“negotiation”上，是的，这是谈判策略之一的"wining at any cost..."，与其并列的是大家所熟知的“win-win attitude”(In a win-win negotiation we are tring to produce an outcome that provides acceptable gain to all parties.)。然后，我惊讶的是，把“wining at any cost”作为一种正常的生活态度，真的是可以的吗？这样的态度真的会被大家所接受？

这种生活态度，让我想起那些喜欢死缠烂打的人，喜欢得寸进尺的人，不择手段的人。。。有些恐怖的样子。

既然问题落在了谈判上，我不得不重新认识《you can negotiation anything》这本书。之前断断续续看完了前三章，这次为了找想要的东西，也算是一下子全部浏览了一遍。

在书的第七章找到了这样一段文字，应该是可以很好的描述了所谓的拥有winning attitude的人（书里面又把这种人叫做competitive negotiator，大致是因为在这些人词典里只有输和赢两个状态，他们只希望自己成为第一）：

“The competitive negotiator sees almost everything as a constant struggle of winning and losing. He is a tough battler who seeks to meet his own goals at any costs without warring about the needs and the acceptance of others. There is no doubt in his mind that he is right in his conviction and approach. For such a person each victory brings a sense of exhilaration.”

事实上，这里的描述和生活中一些人和事关联之后，我才真正明白作者所说的“生活就是一场场谈判”；所以，这些不仅仅是谈判策略，他是一种处世态度。不过，我们还是回来继续讨论这种“苏联式”的生活态度（soviet style，作者给起的名字，作者认为那些共产主义领袖其实是最没人性的，为了夺取最后的胜利，什么都可以牺牲；诺，这才是所谓“苏维埃”最被人害怕的地方）。下面是作者对这种做法弊端的简述：

“Although such a view and strategy have a limited application, there are some people who constantly employ this style without making a distinction between a associate and a true adversary. Though they may be concerned only with their own wining, the resulting outcome is the defeat of the other side. If their relationship is a continuing one, the outcome of this negotiation leaves a legacy that will affect the future relations or groupes.”

到这里是不是就可以认定作者对“wining at any cost”持否定态度呢? 最起码的，在可持续关系中使用这种策略是有些愚蠢的；作者认为，只有win-win才可以改善关系，增进感情。同时，这种做法也不是一无是处的，这种方法唯一适用的场合是“at the expense of a perceived adversary”，或者说，如果你不介意多一个敌人，你尽管可以这么做。这里希望不会混淆，强者不怕与人为敌，但是强者也不会努力去与人为敌。

另外，这种谈判策略通常的流程会是这样的：

1. Extreme initial positions. they always start with tough demands or rediculous offers(荒唐提议) that affect the other side's expectation level.

2. Limited authority. The negotiators themselves have little or no authority to make any concessions（妥协）.

3. Emotional tactics（策略，比strategy更具体）. They get red faced, raise their voices, and act exasperated-horrified that they are being taken advantage of（因为你占了他的便宜而震惊、愤怒）. Occasionally the will stalk out of a meeting in a huff.

4. Adversary concessions viewed as weakness（你的妥协会被当做是你的软弱）. Should you give in and concede them something, they are unlikely to reciprocate.

5. Stingy in their concessions（几乎不会作出让步）. They delay making any concession and when they finally do, it reflects only a minuscule change in their position.

6. Ignore deadlines. They tend to be patient and act as though time is of no significance to them（假装这是一次可有可无的交易）.

这像极了上次有人描述的犹太商人的样子。。。俩字，欠抽。