Why I Want A Wife

I want a wife who will take care of my physical needs.

I want a wife who will keep my house clean.

A wife who will pick up after my children, a wife who will pick up after me.

I want a wife who will keep my clothes clean, ironed, mended, replaced when need be, and who will see to it that my personal things are kept in their proper place so that I can find what I need the minute I need it.

I want a wife who cooks the meals, a wife who is a good cook.

I want a wife who will plan the menus, do the necessary grocery shopping, prepare the meals, serve them pleasantly, and then do the cleaning up while I do my studying.

I want a wife who will care for me when I am sick and sympathize with my pain and loss of time from school.

I want a wife to go along when our family takes a vacation so that somesone can aomtinue to care for me and my children when I need a rest and change of scene.

I want a wife who will not bother me with rambling complaints about a wife's duties.

But I want a wife who will listen to me when I feel the need to explain a rather difficult point I have come across in my course of studies.

And I want a wife who type my papers for me when I have written them.

I want a wife who will take care of the details of my social life.

When my wife and I are invited out by my friends, I want a wife who will take care of the babysitting arrangements.

When I meet people at school that I like who will have the house clean, will prepare a special meal, serve it to me and my friends, and not interrupt when I talk about things that interest me and my friends.

I want a wife who will have arranged that the children are fed and ready for bed before my guests arrive so that the children do not bother us.

I want a wife who takes care of the needs of my guests so that they feel comfortable, who makes sure that they have an sahtray, that they are offered a second helping of the food, that their wine glasses are replenished when necessary, that their coffee is served to them as they like it.

And I want a wife who knows that sometimes I need a night out by myself.

I want a wife who is sensitive to my sexual needs, a wife who makes love passionately and eagerly when I feel like it, a wife who makes sure that I am satisfied.

And, of course, I want a wife who will not demand sexual attention when I am not in the mood for it.

I want a wife who assumes the complete responsibility for birth control, because I do not want more children.

I want a wife who will remain sexually faithful to me so that I do not have to clutter up my intellectual life with jealousies.

And I want a wife who understands that my sexual needs may entail more than strict adherence to monogamy.

I must, after all, be able to relate to people as fully as possible.

If, by chance, I find another person more suitable as a wife than the wife I already have, I have the liberty to replace my present wife with another one.

Naturally, I will expect a fresh, new life; my wife will take the children and be solely responsible for them so that I am left free.

When I am through with school and have a job, I want my wife to quit working and remain at home so that my wife can more fully and completely take care of a wife's duties.

My God, who wouldn't want a wife?