Instead, I was ivory-skinned, without even the excuse of blue eyes or red hair, despite the constant sunshine.

取而代之的是我是白皮肤,没有蓝眼睛或者红头发,尽管一直晒着太阳

I had always been slender, but soft somehow, obviously not an athlete;

我身体纤细柔软,显然不是一个运动员

I didn't have the necessary hand-eye coordination to play sports without humiliating myself —

对于运动来说我眼睛和手一点也不协调,有点丢自己的脸

我也没有足够的平衡感来参与运动而不让自己蒙羞——不伤到自己或者任何离我太近的人。

and harming both myself and anyone else who stood too close.

有时会伤害到自己和自己身边的人

When I finished putting my clothes in the old pine dresser,

我把我的衣服放进旧衣柜之后

I took my bag of bathroom necessities and went to the communal bathroom to clean myself up after the day of travel.

经过一整天的旅行之后,我拿了一整包的生活必需品,然后去公共浴室去洗了个澡。

I looked at my face in the mirror as I brushed through my tangled, damp hair.

我在我镜子中看见了我自己的脸,我刷了我的紊乱的头发。

Maybe it was the light, butal ready I looked sallower, unhealthy.

或许是光的原因,我看起来气色不是很好,不是很健康。

My skin could be pretty — it was very clear, almost translucent-looking — but it all depended on color. Ihad no color here.

我的应该可以很好,很干净,大多看起来很透明,但是只是因为肤色的缘故,在这里我就没有了颜色。

Facing my pallid reflection in the mirror, I was forced to admit that I was lying to myself.

面对我在镜子中苍白的映像,我不得不承认我只能依靠我自己了

看着镜子里我黯淡的身影,我被迫承认我一直在对自己撒谎。

It wasn't just physically that I'd never fit in.

不只是生活上面我不能适应

And if I couldn't find a niche in a school with three thousand people, what were my chances here?

如果我不能在学校的三千人中找到自己合适的位置,我在这的机会在哪里?

我在这里又有什么机遇可言?

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